The Loneliness of the Wedding Musician

Have you ever thought about the musicians who play for special events where they are not the focus of attention? No? Well here are a few things to think about and some suggestions for you when you are at an event with musicians contributing to the atmosphere and ambience of the moment.

I went to two really lovely family weddings recently. The bride and groom, at both weddings,  had found some excellent musicians who provided music at various stages through the day's activities. At one there was a great Jazz band, and at the other there was a Celtic Harpist who played beautifully before and during the wedding ceremony and during the wedding dinner; a guitarist who played in a windy courtyard for the post ceremony drinks reception; and later on a club singer who added atmosphere before the disco started.

It was while collecting my preprandial drink from the bar that I heard the guitarist play the tune / melody, "Cantina Band". I made my way over to him and, at an appropriate moment, thanked him for playing that tune which I have used when playing for Contra Dance. I'd only ever heard it being played before during the Star Wars movie where it is part of the music score.

My reward was a big smile from the musician and a reprise of the same piece of music. It did make me wonder how many guests would have noticed that he played the same piece twice!!

In conversation with my family on that day, I remembered a time when I was asked to play Irish Fiddle music for a post marriage drinks reception at the Cricket pavilion in Winchester school. 

As the bride skipped her way across the cricket pitch, and made her way up the steps of the pavilion, I started to play. 

After an hour, no-one had spoken a word to me. I was thirsty, so I asked the next waitress who passed by if I could have a drink. She looked somewhat surprised and said, "Ooh. I don't know. I'll ask. Don't go away". (As if I could.) 20 minutes later she arrived with a small orange juice. I played on for another hour and was eventually on my own, so I stopped. To this day I have wondered what the wedding party thought of my contribution on their day. It was certainly 2 hours of solid violin practice for me.

Ruth Wall is seen here playing her Celtic Harp at the wedding breakfast at Boconnoc Hall in Cornwall.

I was fortunate at this wedding breakfast (which was at 4pm in the afternoon!) to be sitting with some of my family members right next to the place where Ruth was playing. 

We could hear perfectly, but, as it was a really noisy and animated room, I doubt if anyone else in the room heard her playing.  As she was of Scottish origin, I was pleased to hear he play a number of my favourite songs including "The Wild Mountain Thyme."

Contrary to my earlier assumption, the hotel staff at Boconnoc Hall in Cornwall, had provided Ruth with a drink whilst she was playing.

To see more about Ruth, please check out her WEBSITE.

Finally.....

.........here are a few thoughts about interacting with Musicians at weddings and other public events.

1. It's probably not a good idea to talk to the musician whilst they are actually playing, but rather wait for a quiet moment between pieces to say a quiet, "thank you" to acknowledge their contribution.
2. If you recognise a piece of music, look up and smile and again acknowledge their contribution.
3. If it's appropriate, pause a while and listen to them playing or singing.
4. If the musician is busking, or playing on the street, then spare a coin for their hat.
5. Many will have business cards, and if you like the music, there's no harm in asking for a card and passing it on to your friends or family.
6. Finally, if you are aware that the musician is gasping for a drink, then please arrange to get one. You will be very popular with them at least!!

I would be pleased to hear about anyone else's wedding music experiences. Please leave a comment.